
As
a newcomer, you may have thought or said, "What's this talk
about God? I came here to stop using cocaine, not to join a new
religion." Don't
feel alone. Many of us were put off with the talk about God when
we first came to meetings.
It
is easy enough to confuse the word spirituality with religion.
As it relates to God, Cocaine Anonymous is a spiritual program,
not a religious one. In C.A., we believe each individual can choose
a Higher Power of his or her own. In short, a God of his or her
own understanding.
If you are like many of us, you came to C.A. without a conscious
belief in a Higher Power. Or, perhaps you chose to avoid a Higher
Power because you were taught about a punishing God. It doesn't matter.
All that is necessary to start is that you are open-minded to the
idea that some Power greater than yourself may be able to restore
you to sanity.
The
first step in solving any problem is recognizing it. The same
holds true in solving a problem with cocaine.
The
second step in solving a problem is believing that there might
be a solution. The fact that you've come to a C.A. meeting shows
that you believe that there is a Power of some kind, greater than
yourself, that can help you get your life back in order. You have
proven, just by showing up, that you believe that there must be some
information, somewhere, you can use to get rid of your obsessions
with cocaine, drugs, and/or alcohol. You have already started!
The
third step in solving a problem, after having found evidence
of a solution, is putting faith in that solution and trying it. The
solution for us meant admitting that our management of the problem
wasn't working. Cocaine Anonymous introduced us to a Power greater
than ourselves that could manage our problem. That doesn't necessarily
mean we have to turn our will and our lives over to the care of the
God that we heard of in the past. It can mean trusting in a Power
of our own understanding. This is the beginning of our Higher Power,
God, as we understand Him.
Some of us adopt, or come back to, a traditional God. Others see
our Higher Power as some kind of force. Some define it as the force
of the group, while others don't define it at all.
At first, it is sufficient for God, as you understand Him, to be
the power that the group obviously has to help get rid of the obsession
to use.
No
one comes into Cocaine Anonymous to find God. We come to these
rooms to get rid of a terrifying drug habit. Look around in a meeting.
You are surrounded by people who came as a last resort. We came into
these rooms emotionally, financially, and spiritually bankrupt. We
have experienced all sorts of tragedies as a result of cocaine, drugs,
and/or alcohol. We have lived many of the same horrors you have,
yet today we are happy. We are free from the misery, terror, and
pain of drug addiction.
As
long as you are willing, your belief will grow. You will learn
through your own experience and the experiences of others how a Higher
Power can help you with your cocaine problem.
Maybe some of us were worse off than you; maybe some of us didn't
hit as low a bottom as you. Still, the fact remains, that those of
us who are recovering have come to believe that the power of the
group or of a Higher Power of our own understanding can restore us
to sanity.
After you are around the Program for a few weeks and months, you
will begin to see changes in your thinking. You will begin to feel
better. You will see changes in the other newcomers that came in
with you. We call those changes miracles. If you are having trouble
with the talk about God, remember: